I came to stage a play at the Youth Theater. As a member of the Scottish Independence Movement, I feel a responsibility for the strives of your nation to win independence. Scotland, like Lithuania, is a small country ruled by its great neighbor - England.
On those days, together with other members of the Theater, I was keeping vigil at the Parliament building. I was already ready to go to sleep on that Sunday night when I heard firing. At the time I thought that perhaps there had been an explosion in a garage or something like that. But after hearing several explosions, I ran to my window and saw white flashes, which used to light up a few seconds before hearing an explosion. I also saw the fire of machine-guns. It seemed like it was getting closer, and then I finally understood what was going on. At first, I was scared. I rushed to get dressed, and turned off the lights in the flat. However, it was much worse sitting alone in the room than trying to do something. Thus, after looking out the window and seeing several passers-by, I followed them to Parliament. I met a couple of friends there. They had a car, and we drove to the TV tower. At the time, I was positive that the slaughter had already ended. Tanks were maneuvering around the tower, and their barrels were aimed over the people's heads. I got the impression that the paratroopers were on the older side - around 40 - and that they had been hired. They were not regular soldiers but paid killers who were standing on the tanks like cowboys. Their eyes were glistening as if they were drunk or on drugs. Their wide-opened eyes, their anticipative stares - their entire appearance erased any doubt that one incautious step would prompt them to open fire. I distinctly remember a car smashed like a cigarette pack, next to which a pair of men's shoes had been thrown.
It seemed like danger had risen again, so we drove over to the radio and television, where paratroopers were threatening the people that had gathered in front of the building. All the windows of the neighboring houses around the building were broken, and I could hear the sound of crushed glass, because people were gathering fragments of glass to stop up their broken windows for the night. When two or three more tanks suddenly arrived, the soldiers started firing to scare us. The tanks were maneuvering in front of the building, trying to drive us away. Thus we decided to move away again, because in that atmosphere any uncalculated move could cost you your life. I remember feeling that everything was going on without any responsibility, that everything was uncontrolled, and that the soldiers were doing what they wanted, when they wanted, and how they wanted. Nobody was leading them, nobody was overlooking the order.
At that time I went into shock, my hands began to tremble, and my palms were sweating. We went back to Parliament to wait for tanks to appear. The next two days and nights I spent at Parliament without any sleep, treating people to tea and coffee, because my flat is just steps away from Parliament.
You ask, why did I stay at Parliament? If a Scott or a representative of some other small nation does not stand together with you, then nobody will stand with you. If you believe in Justice, Friendship, and Truth, then you believe. And then it is impossible to hide.
Lithuania, 1991.01.13 : documents, testimonies, comments. - Vilnius : State Publishing Center, 1992, p. 175-176.